Goodbye my friend

So long my friend, I said

As we kissed our last goodbye.

Your lips were cold, your soul was gone

You didn’t see me cry

I touched your skin, I stroked your hair, I cut a lock to keep,

I kept your ashes in an urn, by my bedside where I sleep.

I ached inside, I raged outside, for what would never be,

Would what was left just send me mad? Or set my body free?

Would this pain inside of me ever go away

or get any easier to bear?

I asked myself this question every day.

As I tried to feel, to touch, to care.

But what’s to find, there’s nothing there.

Nothing left to give,

Just a hole, a place in time, in which my hurt will live.

They say time heals all wounds and this is true in part.

It heals the mind and calms the soul but not so soon the heart.

So my love goes with you my friend,

but believe me, to me this is not the end.

Until I feel your soul and look into your eyes – until we meet again.

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Who is me?

I look around me

and sometimes I see

A glimpse of something new ahead

but mostly I see nothing – I am dead

My mind is racing, rampant erratic thoughts

of things long past, and things not done,

waiting for something, am I the only one?

that feels this way, day after day.

Be patient, they say,

time will heal, fear will pass

and you will feel

much better, normal, like everybody else.

What is normal? How do they know my mind, when they speak.

Perhaps it’s normal to be a freak.