Bottoms up

My mother is going into the hospital this week, she informs me, for a colonoscopy.  I’m going into the hospital too for two days this week to be a guinea pig for some experimental drug trials but this has all been overshadowed by the impending anal probe.

Nobody likes colonscopies, however.  I’ve been there and done that before and I don’t plan to have some nameless specialist poking around in my nether regions again in the near future, so I can understand my mother’s reluctance to participate in the proctology program.  I have assured my mother that she is just another bum in the queue of many and that they have seen them all.  She is not mollified, however, and states that while they may have seen many, they haven’t seen hers and there lies the rub.

I often wonder why proctologists do what they do.  Was there a lot of money in it, or was it the job that nobody wanted and there were a few vacancies, so they thought they would give it a go?  Maybe they do really enjoy their work but I’m not touching that summisation in this post or any other post, for that matter.

I ended up getting to the bottom (pardon the pun) of the real problem with my mother.  Not only are they going to be doing a colonoscopy, they will be doing an endoscopy at the same time.  I reassured her that they won’t be using the same probe for both ends and if they were they would be sure to sterilise it beforehand.  I think she nearly fainted.

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2 Responses

  1. That’s called “the other END-oscopy!! I wish her the best results from it, though. Good luck! Great writing, as usual – I’m a big fan! Thanks.

    • ENDoscopy.. that’s funny 🙂 Mum will be okay…. just her pride that will suffer 🙂 I sure hope she doesn’t read this post.. she’s a subscriber 😉

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