I’m a list maker. I’m a etcher of all sorts of bits and pieces to alleviate the strain on my short-term memory.

Shopping lists, bill paying lists, things-I-need-to-remember-the-next-day lists, medications lists, dog medication list (yes, she has one), chore lists. Everyday stuff that needs to be ejected from my mind before I become a borderline OCD.

I’m a closet compiler, that’s for sure. I know this because I’m also a collector of notepads. I never know when I might need one. Even if I’m not making a list, I’m thinking about a possible category the subject at hand might go into if I were to be making a list in the near future.

I sometimes make mental lists about the things that I see, if I’ve got the room.  My mental lists are often influenced by my circumstances at the time and my tolerance levels.

For example, ‘the things you see when you don’t have a gun’ list – ie,  the irritant that cuts you off in traffic or the loser that takes all day at the ATM because they can’t remember their PIN number, won’t move out of the way and press ALL the buttons until they lose their card. I’m not going to action that list by buying a gun, of course, but it’s nice to muse over the possibilities before moving on.

Who can resist making a  ‘waste of oxygen’ list? The evil-doers of society on the 6 o’clock news could almost certainly be slotted in here, but I’m also thinking about adding a politician or two for my own personal satisfaction.

There’s also the teeth-grinding, jaw-clenching  ‘I want my 15 minutes of fame’ list. The things some people will do to get a bit of free air time may also make them suitable candidates for all of the above.

Another favourite of mine is the ‘annoying relative list.’ Let’s face it, we all have our family skeletons. I’m still getting over last Christmas.

And what about the ‘people-I-would-like-to-slap-silly’ list? Once again, all of the above – along with that annoying woman down the road who smiles at me a lot, but  in all likelihood, has a cauldron brewing in her basement.

Of course, I don’t spend all of my time mulling over the morbidity of the human race, I’m also putting together ‘the things I’ll do when I win lotto’ list, and ‘the things that make me happy right now list’ both of which are growing steadily.

Lists can make sense of things that may not seem sensible at the time. It can also be an unconscious reaction to the often chaotic and frenetic world around us.

I don’t think I’ve lost the plot just yet, but there is more than likely a long list of people that don’t understand me.


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