I’ve been feeling a little up and down lately. One minute I’m relaxed and at peace with the world, the next I’m mad at the world and not sure why.
The doctor has upgraded my hormones. I have to take them as my body doesn’t produce natural hormones. I’m a rarity I’m told – a tumour in my head destroyed what was left of my pituitary – although I would imagine that there would be a few non-functioning pituitary sufferers in the world besides me.
Anyway, back to the hormones. I have none, but have been doing ok on the basic medications that they prescribe for me that are essential to living – like cortisol and thyroid medication. I have been fighting them tooth and nail about sticking to a regime on taking other hormonal supplements like oestrogen and progesterone. They make me sick, they make me bloat, they make me cranky and they make me miserable. I’ve tried them all, and the outcome is the same. Now they tell me that the bones are becoming weak without these hormones, and I have to give it a try to at least stave off the walking frame or the wheelchair before my time. So I have bitten the bullet, or the tablet – so to speak, and tried one of those new-fangled concoctions that they have available called Yaz. Simply put – it is the pill. And that is why I am feeling like there’s a Jeckle and Hyde character lurking in the depths of my being just waiting to lunge at the first unsuspecting soul to wander by – in this case my poor husband, who lately has been glancing furtively around corners before he proceeds into the room.
I feel terrible. My personality is a trifle colourful at times, but not usually this grandiose and unpredictable. I would prefer to flatline on the hormones and be a little moody and a lot happy – than to be the stuff of my husband’s nightmares.
So I will once again throw the pills into the garbage can and begin my quest to find an alternative, more natural way to fix my problems. There must be something out there that can help me.