As I sit here my mind is in disarray. I have lost my Auntie Joan, my mother’s only sister, and her best friend. It’s hard to take the news in, and I’m pretty much in denial. She can’t be gone. Mum was making plans for a get together in September. We were all looking forward to it.
I probably shouldn’t be here at all, typing. I probably should be with my mother, but she wants to be on her own tonight. She doesn’t want us to see her heart breaking for the one person who saw her through every single event in her life. Her sister was her mentor, advisor and champion if she was in trouble. She is lost, and I can’t begin to understand her pain.
I cry because I have lost an Auntie who was a beautiful human being, a loving spirit who was loved by many. But most of all I cry for my mother, for her aching heart.
I plan to see my mother tomorrow. I will support her as much as I can, even if she says she’s ok, because I know she’s not. I will take care of her before, during and after the funeral, which must come – as much as we don’t want it to.
I will give my mother some space, but not too much. Life is short, and you never know what is going to happen tomorrow. I want to make the most of every opportunity that I have with her, right now. I don’t want to regret a thing.
Rest in peace Auntie Joan. Until we meet again.